Please note: The ages listed in the description are the characters' ages, not necessarily the actors' ages.

The Residents

Florence Williams (Female, 30s-40s): An elegant woman with a gentle disposition and a sweet smile. She lost her son at an early age and has never emotionally recovered, so she carries a doll around named John Thomas, who she treats as her son.

Hannibal (Male, 40s-60s): Hannibal, once a statistician, was fired and replaced by an electronic calculator. He has then taken up the violin, which he wrongly believes he can play beautifully. He is a kind man with a vast array of knowledge stored in his sometimes sarcastic head.

Fairy May (Female, 20s-30s): compulsive liar who is obsessed with having others love her. She is unkempt throughout the play, but believes herself to be stunningly beautiful. She is also very immature, behaving and speaking in a childlike manner.

Jeffrey (Male, 20s-30s):  Once a military pilot, Jeff was shot down in the war, surviving a crash that killed all his men. He now believes that he has a scar on his face, which he constantly hides from others. He plays the piano, but is too shy to do so around other people. He is married to Miss Willie, but does not remember that he is, due to the crash.

Mrs. Paddy (Female, 40s-60s): Mrs. Paddy paints with the quality of Hannibal's violin playing and only speaks to announce what she hates which is "everything in the world," strung together in loose alphabetical order. Her tirades are ignored by the other characters. She has given up electricity for Lent and turns off all the lights multiple times throughout the play, causing mayhem.

The Savages

Mrs. Ethel P. Savage (Female, 60+): Mrs. Savage is a witty, kind-hearted woman with an optimistic outlook on humanity. She has made the decision to hide money which she has inherited from her late husband from her greedy stepchildren to give away to those less fortunate or to fulfill others’ random, yet important, lifelong dreams. She dislikes her stepchildren, but learns to love the residents of The Cloisters, accepting their own realities and delusions with and open-mindedness that others on the outside do not.

Titus (Male, 40s-50s): The eldest stepchild, Titus has been sent so many threatening messages that he is listed by Western Union as a "tangible asset". He is the least popular senator in Congress. Sober, humorless, and direct, Titus also has a temper that tends to come out most when dealing with his stepmother.

Lily Belle (Female, 40s-50s): The middle stepchild, Lily Belle is a six times married celebrity heiress who is arrogant, chic, and self-assured. She is also very selfish and is constantly putting forth the effort to make sure others are respecting her. When Lily Belle first met Ethel, she bit her new stepmother's finger and has promptly been just as vicious ever since.

Samuel (Male, 30s-40s): The youngest stepchild, Samuel has the distinction of being the judge with the most overturned decisions in the U.S. He walks in the shadows of his siblings, offering a sassy, short comment every once in a while, only to be shot down.

The Staff

Dr. Emmett (Male, 40s-70s): The staff doctor for this wing of The Cloisters, Dr. Emmett is kind, warmhearted, and he works hard to help his patients.

Miss "Willie" Wilhelmina (Female, 20s-30s): Miss Willie is an administrative assistant and nurse. She is married to Jeff, but struggles to pretend not to be because he doesn't remember her. He is the reason she is working at The Cloisters, but she is nonetheless extremely kind and understanding towards all the residents.